That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
