Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
