idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
