I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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