Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
