overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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