I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize