I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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