you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
