yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I believe in your delicious
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
