They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
