is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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