I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
