Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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