...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
