I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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