Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
