What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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