forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
