dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
