Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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