If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
