So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
