Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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