Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
