Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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