the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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