ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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