Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
