She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
