i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
