if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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