She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
