Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize