My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
