Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you win again, gameday.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
