Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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