Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the day after is always just damage control
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
