Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
