If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Panties = found
Randomize
