hell yes lets make some ravioli
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
