in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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