A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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