I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize