I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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