Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
