the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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