it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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