i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
ok first of all what the fuck
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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