How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
