i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She tied me up with her honor cords...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have post one night stand depression
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