I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
