Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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