Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize