My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
