I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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