She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
