i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
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Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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