Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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