I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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